Tell her she can't have a vagina
Seriously dude, you need to stop beating off to the ellen show, it's just weird.
and im sitting here waiting for them to work on my car. in a room full of men. that are too old for me. its like a sausage fest nightmare...
Just because you're using the Hipstamatic app for your nude photo taking, it doesn't make your drunken blowjob pics any classier.
Went from beach to class to bar all while wearing my swimsuit as pants. Clearly I'm dressed for success.
your mom just called me and asked me why i'm not in jail with you right now.
He knows my period schedule but not my work schedule.
I was trying to be an adult about it and simply deal with the situation, but a bowl seemed much more comforting.
I feel like I got hit by a bus. A head on collision with my vag.
Its been 4 years since I have masturbated this hard. God bless the Olympics!
He started screaming when he saw my dog. He thought it was a polar bear
Seriously, even though I keep it clean, I could douse it in bleach and set it on fire and still not be comfortable with you actually holding it. It's been in my VAGINA.
I just had to explain to an 70+ year old lady what 'coitus' was. This was not in my job description.
I just want a boyfriend who will have sex to Disney Pandora.
I'll say this one last time. You are TWENTY FIVE YEARS OLD. You are not going to die alone and this is not the twilight of your life. Stop taking shrooms on your period!!!!
Randomize
