I chose taco bell over sex...
good choice.
Just think, the more you drink, the more options you'll have of people you want to hook up with.
We just spray painted his balls while he is passed out....I cant wait to see him try to figure this out in the morning.
Im telling you now. Hang out with winning football players and you get whatever the hell you want. Sorry to wake you. But its important knowledge.
no where in the syllabus does it say "no alcoholic beverages allowed".
that's the nicest way anyone's ever asked me to send them naked pics before...
New plan for Halloween: you dress as Waldo, I'll dress as Carmen San Diego. We can just hide in a closet drinking till someone finds us.
Someone just told me I could double date with them and their dog as my date. This is why the suicide rates are so high at the holidays.
She offered to treat me to breakfast after a one night stand if I meet her parents and sex again if I act as her bf. It may be a trap but its a offer I won't refuse.
do you think your dog feels awkward being in the background of your nudes?
Great. I broke up with him before he could like my selfie, now I'm down a like.
If its not for food we ain't going out.
he kissed both of us goodnight when we dropped him off...I didn't know if I was more offended or impressed
Dude, I just feel great. I love life so much and I love you. Love. Love. So much love.
Fucking a younger guy is now a game of odds. The chance that he gives me corona virus is outweighed by the evening of orgasms I know he’ll give me.
Randomize
