Report just came out that Tim Tebow is a virgin but I have proof he is not. He's bent Florida State over the last four years in a row.
theres a difference between trying to make someone happy and letting them fuck you in the ass
he yelled at me for calling the fat girl fat. if I can't call out fat girls to my brother who do i have?
oh my god its dad's weekend for the sororities i can't wait to throw up in front of all these parents
Hey on the reals though tomorrow if i take you out to lunch as just a friend will you also suck my cock as just a friend?
They walked in to the store, ripped up the phone book, and left. Can we get on their level?
His ankle bracelet went off in the middle of sex. That makes a girl reevaluate her life...
Just proved I could salsa dance in a bar where no one was dancing
Sidenote...no idea how to salsa
You called me to pick you up from the bar at 9:00. When we drove over the speed bumps you put your hands in the air and pretended you were on a roller coaster.
I will have you again some day my love. And our divorce will be magnificent
what's your room number? I've never been there sober...
we just smoked for like ten hours and got froyo. not a bad start to the weekend.
Have you ever looked at someone and thought…oh honey, you're too pretty for an ankle monitor
i knew it was a party when i saw you sitting on the couch naked with the keg in your lap, still drinking and passing out cups
Wrong Cuomo but I had a dream last night in which I was very sexually attracted to Chris
Randomize
