I want to see you every morning in the kitchen ass naykid on roller blades making pancakes.
Stop sending me these texts. This is your mom, not your girlfriend.
I was up until 12:30 making that damned grammar test for my freshmen then I caught myself running through the verb tenses when I was giving him head.
"I have sucked, I will suck, I will have suck, I am sucking..." I've never felt more like a nerdier slut than last night.
the only reason i even kissed her was because we were having sex when it midnight, and i heard people yelling "happy new year."
There is a woman in the bar breastfeeding a baby. Doing shots. Gotta love maryland Applebees.
found used condoms and an omlet in my uggs. I'm disgusted but not surprised.
He went around feeding all the high kids pretzels. He's like their god now
I'm wearing a shirt that says "birthday girls #1 homo" ...what has my life come to?
She slapped me in the face with a McDouble. Just threw it right at my face while I was driving... That is why we can't bring her out in public.
I think I'm going to give him a welcome back to single life blow job
what a fun peer-pressure-filled weekend
When you're all settled in, text me, and I can sorta apologize for saying that your phone can suck my dick. What I really meant to say is that your Windows phone can suck my Android phone's dick.
i always handshake my one night stand, im classy like that.
I was just thinking about all the dick I could catch while I am home. But then I realized I am too lazy to get out of my pjs and leave my cat.
It was beautiful and filled the audience with hope for the future. :3 I wish I could speak more but sleep werk nighty
I asked how you were doing?
If I get my period the weekend your parents are gone i'm removing my uterus.
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