i want to bang the Snorg tees girl.. shes always smiling ;)
I just named my vagina "The Boneyard"
More like "Chia Pet"
I forgot how hot balto sounded
I mean, he was my book buddy in 1st grade. The kid taught me how to read, the least I could do was give him head.
Best thing law school has taught me: how to use logic to turn a girls "no I will not have sex with you" into "well I might as well get laid"
She told me I was lying in front of her toilet for an hour saying "lasers."
He burst into tears while I was blowing him. NEVER giving a bj for a graduation present again.
He wanted to feed hamburgers to the homeless... as a first date... who the fuck is this kid
Seriously-without actually meaning the statement for it's words- that made me want to put a baby in you.
I awoke this morning alone and naked in my bed I forecast my date later not going so well because I have three giant hickies on my neck there is a note next to my bed that looks a 3rd grader wrote it on my college acceptance letter
I mean, who doesn't have an ex involved with bath salts?
the reputation of my dick game is on the line. You're killing the team, here, G
I wanted lighthearted conversation about ordering bulk condoms and anal lube but he's depressed and talking about god hating him, ugh
Please explain the hospital band on my wrist.
Only in the emergency room do they shut the door when youre laughing too hard
Randomize
