she says her boyfriend and her dignity are both out of town tonight
this dieting is killing me...just started drooling watching a dog food commercial
So J keeps drinking his last bit of drink, then spitting it out and drinks it again. Savor the flavor?
its like think what a normal person would think but completely the opposite.
You bet me 100 dollars that the Raiders would win the super bowl this year. I have it on tape.
I interrupted her conversation with, "are we gonna fuck yet?" and she immediately got naked. thanks for the blind date
there are too many children here to make this hangover-friendly
she actually told me to ignore the cokeheads in the corner with knives.
Balls are wasted. Waste are ballsted. Ballsd wasted
I drove 5 hours to see her. She thanked me by getting shitfaced, inviting her boyfriend over, and making me sleep on the couch after I cooked for them and did the dishes. You're right. I'm a fucking doormat.
I don't think anybody else enjoys making out with multiple guys on the same night as much as I do. I'm like a wine taster but with lips... it's like art to me. The bruise on my upper lip is proof of it
We weren't even through customs yet, and we got offered weed. You would love Jamaica.
My roommate just walked in on him eating me out ..happy finals week right?
Do we have to do this party tonight? I'm worried my bed will miss me...
Thanks for letting me cross "getting high at park with children" off my bucket list
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