If I don't come home tonight, I've died in a pile of gay.
Full bush! Can't stay! Need ride! Come on bro!
i just bought ciggarettes using my court citation as id. I've reached an all time low.
no... you woke up naked next to the toilet because you said your outfit was too cute to throw up in
Can you explain my first weekend back, because there a lot of blacked out gaps and 32 friend requests i would like to know about
First off, get on bc solely in preperation for this event. Second, as my little sister you have a lot of whore to live up to.
You have all of her herpes and none of my sympathy
You picked up her frozen vom puddle and threw it like a frisbee.
sooo I am sorta kinda using your name as my stripper stage name.
i accidentally sent all my draft messages..how do i do damage control for the multiple "fuck me now" type msgs sent at ten am?
So please don't worry, but I need some help getting blood out of my drywall so I can get my security deposit back. I would not ask if the need was not great.
Well as if this year didn't suck enough already, I can now count 2015 as the year I got chlamydia
Like he was cock blocking and it usually takes ten cocks to block this cock
None of what you just said was coherent
I just bought wine at a gas station what the hell do you expect
I am texting my ex and my future boyfriend while eating fish and chips with my current boyfriend... How and when did I become such a terrible person???
Randomize