I'm playing a drinking game with nyc prep. This will not end well for meeee
Everytime the gay dude pretends he's not gay, drink a cosmo. Everytime the crosseyed girl is crosseyed, kill her
he was sending me dirty texts but i was watchin nickeloden and couldnt get into it
im ashamed your my cousin
I feel like i made up for not being able to drink on St Pattys Day, Mardi Gras, and last years Cinco De Mayo. That hungover.
The only good thing about trampolines when you're fucked up is the gushing blood really cleans all the bad coke out of your nose.
we had a 10 minute conversation with his family about how I don't let him eat me out. I want to go home
He just brought me a wine glass. Full of Tequila. Ignore any texts after this one.
you were sitting on the floor eating oats. how should i react?
Who would have guessed that her hair would be so flammable
I need to stop treating my body like that of a Vegas hooker on vacation in Ibiza
I bet he'd be real motivational during sex. And he'd probably make you call him superman.
You understand the drunkenness of my drunkenness
She's so nice... She deserves all the dicks.
When God made him he put all his talent in his dick. What he lacks in brain, he makes up for in loin.
im on a boat
How did you get this number?
The neighbor just poured gasoline on his 2 brush fires and proceeded to shoot Roman candles at them 🤔
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