I think I won the penis lottery.
Tonight must have been good, I have already had two cups of coffee but still couldn't figure out how to operate a door.
if three guys were standing in front of you and they differed only in the hairiness of the groin who would you choose: smooth as a baby's bottom, the grass lands or the amazon jungle?
i think you're getting too neurotic about why she won't touch you.
im dressed up like a present. waiting for someone to unwrap me ;)
this is your brother
Don't feel too badly. Until twenty minutes ago my paper was a heading and a pizza order.
I just saw a girl in Albersons in spandex and curlers buying PBR. Only PBR.
Just checked my phone. Sometime last night I googled sex positions in a tent. Was there even a tent there?
I traded my shirt for vodka. I wonder if my parents can pinpoint where they went wrong raising me.
Literally I thought my ears were pouring out blood. That high.
Rehydrating your liver back to life is never a good idea.
I may be in the process of acquiring a second male fuck buddy and dating a girl....FUCKING STOP THE TRAIN I'M ON! THIS IS NOT A DRILL!!
I gotta say, I do way better with the ladies than I do the men. So if it turns out being gay is a choice, then I'm going to go ahead and choose it.
First of all she starred talking about God which immediately killed my buzz
During my first week as an adjunct prof, I played a fiercely fought game of squash with a law student and we wound up having hot, sweaty, angry sex right on the floor of the court. She is either the best or worst thing to happen to my academic career. Will let you know.
Just letting you know that while you peed your pants in that guys jeep, The orgasm I had made my hair fall out... Good morning.
Randomize
