My dad hugged me and said I love u. I'm glad I didn't pull out that night.
Women are like Alzheimers patiens. You can compliment them a million times in a day, but the next day is always a wash, you have to start all over.
then i got kicked out of the bar for trying to pay my $30 bar tab in sacajawea dollar coins
I finally got her to squirt but it wasnt a stream, it came out in the form of mist. I felt like I was in rainforest cafe.
i just walked in on him masterbating..to a picture of me. that definitely has to be true love.
I thought stuff was gonna go really bad after he filled the super-soaker with kerosene. but it all turned out pretty well.
I'm still not a hundred percent.. I haven't shit anything solid in two days.. I have pulled my puker muscles and I can't take deep breaths cuz of other unidentified muscles/maybe heart attack
Why don't you throw your vagina at it and see what happens?
I will now send you explicit pics of mine and her genetalia bound together forever in the devils dance that is sexting.
Apparently I filled my purse with chicken nuggets and told my mom I was a "sexual squirrel."
pls come over. need ride to hospital once taquitos are ready
Then again I went over his house after not hanging out since kindergarten and tried to fuck him so maybe I'm partially to blame here
That moment when you're in a room with 3 guys and know how big their dicks are. Then you are married to the one with the smallest dick.
He asked if I had any questions. Apparently, "how thick is the stick up your ass" was not a correct question.
NOT PREGNANT according to the two dollar tree pregnancy tests I took in the tacobell bathroom. Come meet me at tacobell for celebratory soft tacos.
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