If she's not going to maintain the upkeep of her vag then I'm not going to pay the rent of being her boyfriend
No see this is how It goes: guys will fuck virgin girls. But girls don't really want to fuck virgin guys. So you're good have no fear.
Im beginning to think that if I ever write an autobiography it will have to be mostly fill in the blank.
All I could understand from his text was "hatchet" "soccer" & "bitch". its safe to say andy has had enough to drink & will be violent soon
the paramedic just looked at me like "you again?"
He fucked a visibly pregnant girl. It doesn't get weirder than that.
She said her hobbies include bangin guys on one night stands and then sending them facebook relationship requests the next morning just to freak em out
I opened my package from my mom today. She put four bottles of tequila in the bottom under my ducky slippers. She knows me way to well.
I was busy. But now I'm about to consume alcohol and chicken. We shall see where this takes us. Maybe to the moon, maybe to the floor. I have no idea.
In the mean time, I'll continue to kick ass at running and become a successful stripper while he might hook up with one average looking girl he met at a club. I so win.
I just KNEW this was gonna happen. NEVER say "all the free Jameson you can drink" around Tina.
He just texted me a video of him jerking off. He must really be looking forward to the Super Bowl.
The difference in our lives is summed up perfectly in that you woke up next to a 6'4" guy with an accent and I woke up next to an unwrapped piece of string cheese.
How much glitter would I have to ingest in order for a "magnificent" amount to appear in my ejaculate?
Drunk. Send nudes. Just curious.
Randomize
