Just lost my virginity while listening to rick astley. torn between horror and jubilation
He looks like the kind of guy that would jack off to weird things.
I can count the number of hours she's been sober this weekend on one hand.
apparently dick flashing is a frowned upon sport here..... sorry girlfriends mom
I refuse to have sex with you and your eBay condoms.
Some idiot from high school is in the hospital for bonging three beers up his ass
He should have died. Natural selection.
he was inside of, then got up said "we don't want you having a baby," grabbed his car keys and left. so now i'm just sitting on his bed, wondering if he's coming back.
Hey, ok if I kidnap you? I wanna test a theory.
I just flicked a lizard out of the window with a bud light in one hand and spatula inthe other...dont tell me you dont miss the south
She really has to stop the coke at some point. Won't she run out of money eventually?
Won't she run out of nose eventually?
Is it bad that I'm tindering right now? I'm naked on his couch while he's slaving over legal documents for work. And he doesn't have cable, so what else am I supposed to do?
I spent the whole ride asking the cabbie if people ever have sex back there, and if he wanted me to make that number one higher.
Can someone explain to me why guys are so fascinated w their dicks that they feel like they'll die if they don't send unsolicited dick pics
OH MY GOD YOU GUYS I JUST FOUND OUT I HAD PHONE SEX THE OTHER NIGHT
you drug him to get him horny then deny him sex. freaks.
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