My secretary told me she wishes she can have an affair with someone in the office (she's separated from her cheating husband)...Umm...Okaaay
she definitely has that "I'll bang you, but then I'll tell your girlfriend" look to her.
I believe that I finger-banged my way to the top of the corporate ladder.
her orgasm sounded like a fucking walrus crying.
My psychiatrist is "consulting" others. I am high-achieving nuts.
If we don't get kicked out of this hotel tonight for fucking too loud we're breaking up
im proctoring the SATs right now and im still drunk from last night. i really wanna tell these kids that this fucking test doest mean shit and they will just be constantly drunk once in college.
I try to help out whenever I can. Speaking of rough nights I woke up half naked on Brady's couch with bloody paper towels duct taped to my foot.
he is allergic to cats. we can only glue dog hair on him. otherwise he might die and i dont want to be responsible for that.
ahaha ok
let's call it "werewolfing"
Want a slice of this weekend's hottest piece of ass?
We're going to party like we don't have spanx on
I've got a 90 day supply of amoxicillin in case of zombie or chlamydia outbreak
The last thing I remember is him yelling from across the room "WE FINISHED THE HANDLE!"
It was 11pm.
just curious, were the inflatable penis' received? Amazon says they were delivered.
Its 9 am & i've been cleaning for 6 hours now with occasional crying bursts and two cocktails. Adulting 101.
Randomize
