I lost my shoes and bra and was beyond mapquesting
I am SOOO high
tell me about your high
HUGE THUMBTACKS
he suggested we appoligize to eachother. then do blow and painkillers & have ourselves a make-up party.
High as balls & about to be tanning. Helloooo 15 minute vacay.
So I came home baked last night and made about 60% of my jeans into jorts...
You have to stop getting hammered and preaching about that mission trip to Haiti.
Attention: due to the power outage we will not be playing drinking games and watching the royal wedding. Bring your own bottle and we'll just drink in silence.
Yeah well my vagina has expectations too but they don't get met all the time.
i feel like this needs to be a 'lose some teeth' kind of weekend.
Woke up with his dick on the side of my face, it's like he passed out mid-mushroom stamp.
It's gay pride, I'm in my EMT uniform getting more girls than your straight ass ever will..
I say I hate my boss but I find myself jerking off to him more and more with each passing day
I was in a competition with shots tonight...shots won.
Drunk me just left a note for sober me apologizing for all the fucking crumbs in our bed
Tomorrow is my favorite texting day of the year... It's where I send every guy I've had sex with this past year a text saying "happy not a Father's Day" and we laugh and I get so much dick it's wonderful.
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