I didnt attack him, I heard I threw a chair at him- big difference. And you know Im not a creep so whatever
I am tired of kissing girls with mustaches.
Stop trying to talk to my friends!!
then get some ugly ones...
We saw a kid playing in poison ivy. We walked away, he'll learn his lesson.
Just once id like to sleep with a man who i havent thrown up on
Awesome. My fame will spread to DC... As will the herpes.
hiding in a bush to avoid a seven dollar cab ride. cabby got out a flashlight and looked for us for like an hour. help.
Beautiful fucking linguistics Shakespeare, but youre still not doing that to my face
I inadvertently smoked 6 blunts at one time. We just kept passing them around...I didn't know what happened until it was over. I can't walk.
smoked four grams out of a bong with a mixture of pool water and white rum. I applaud you for leaving before losing too many brain cells.
We will go to karaoke
Okay, well, i'm covered in paint, haven't showered & have already been drinking, so if I fall on the floor in a blaze of depeche mode & beer tears, you can't pretend you don't know me
I woke up this morning with 3 phone numbers, a red Chinese New Year envelope with cash in it, and a winning scratcher all stuffed in my bra. I'd say it was a pretty successful Thursday night.
he was making out with her against the stove and started a fire--the thirst literally almost burned the place down!!
Can finally say I won't be lonely this Valentine's day! Mother nature decided to drop by.
All I want is to get shitfaced and fuck random strangers is that really to much to ask?
Randomize
