you really need to stop walk of shaming home from theme parties.
Hey when I die alone will you come by often enough so that my cats don’t eat my face?
She needs to learn what's it like to have sex with someone and regret it the next day.
Better skin, bigger boobs.. Birth control is INCREASING my chance of getting pregnant because people actually want to have sex with me now.
Seriously... There's something wrong here. I'm drinking vodka to mask the smell of chocolate on my breath before I get home and he finds out. I fucking hate couple dieting...
You know what's soul crushing? Walking to subway and find out you were too drunk to put on shoes and being denied service.
Um. I literally have no words.
I'm fighting fire with fire. When my parents interrogate me about what I was doing last night, I tell them the truth. Every disgusting, awkward detail. I'm 23 now and they need to get used to it.
Well, I'm at the grocery store wondering whether I exist or not.
YOU ARE NOT A BOTTLE OF RUM THEREFORE I DONT KNOW HOW TO LOVE YOU
I approve. Last time I was there, I left E's room to get a drink of water. Found M sitting on the kitchen counter in his boxers hammered and eating a banana. He proceeded to feed me the rest of his banana then went to bed with the lights on. You two will be great.
His name was Kyle but I insisted on calling him baby Jesus all night and then we did a line and he bought me Taco Bell so idk
he fucked me wearing a cowboy hat and made grits after
We call him Texas for a reason.
just walked passed a black light...apparently he DID cum.
Let me just get through this whole court subpoena thing and then ill go back to buying alcohol for minors.
His mom wants to come see the dorm.
Hide the whip.
Randomize
