you were carrying around a glass of vodka telling everyone it was Russian water
Just tried to put my sweatpants on backwards...the chances of passing my physics exam just went down about 100%.
After we hooked up, he left the room and no one has seen him since last night. That kid redefined hit it and quit it.
Dude give me 4 good reasons we shouldn't trade girlfriends tonight
The TA leading my study session just said "now get outta here. I need to get drunk before class"
I let that bitch know in no uncertain terms I was taking the coke dealer in the breakup
In the bath trying to absorb water through my skin because I can't drink it.. That hungover
I'm basically your average "grandpa stuck in a 28 year old woman's body" - i'm super passionate about retirement and crossing on the walk signal.
and SLEEP god I love sleep
You seem to be avoiding the poop question. How did you poop on your hand?
I would ride that face into the sunset
He invites me over for to adderall and chill. Academic Tuesday
Im playing a game I have to take a drink every time my gram asks me the same question hammered by 4 guaranteed
is it still the walk of shame if his dad gave me a 'thanks for sleeping with my son' head nod on my way out this morning?
The cl.oudds are foaming a really big pen.Is OMG.
I don’t know what language he speaks but I know my boobs will translate just fine
I’m looking forward to few days of international relations
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