Hallmark should totally make "congratulations on getting your period" cards...I feel they would be quite popular.
Just found the book "How to Stay Christian in College" on my roommates desk. At a loss for words...
i think you know its gunna be a bad day when it starts with throwing up into a red plastic cup
He's sitting on the floor holding his bracket and crying, literally crying... he just keeps saying "Kansas how could you?" over and over
well i did drunkenly flip his snowmobile going 90, so i can kind of see why hes mad
I'm pretty sure we got the cab driver deported
me neither. i remember bell pepper tequila but not why or yelling
Hahaha, I forgot about doing shots out of the bell pepper
the coastal evacuation route ends at my vagina so you can just skip the bullshit and come over
Don't forget: you only show your tits for the good beads. Be judicious.
She can't meet us until 830...there's no hope for our sobriety at that hour
The fun I thought I would be having now when I was six is vastly different from what I am currently doing. Hurraaay sex and vicodin.
Oh dude I know. When something that's supposed stop pregnancies taste like chocolate something's up
Went home w the NY Islander in a NY Rangers jersey, needless to say he was pissed
If you could get me there thatd be perfect. I doubt there's extradition on the moon.
Gameplan: If the cops show up, find a potted plant to hide behind... It's worked before!
Randomize
