I had a dream last night that we were eating cake at Mercy...hahaha. I'm furious I didn't see you.
Being hungover naked and coloring my hair. I guess I am not naked I have black latex gloves on. Give me a call.
im coming over.
My mother just asked me if i ever swallow the goods...should i be concerned?
I bet they don't have a scenario slide on how to deal with a suggested three way with counsel during harassment training.
Just sold this kid "Magic Furry Apples". He is way to high to figure out they are just peaches.
At least he's a nutritious stoner...
My coke dealer called me at midnight just to ask how to spell a word. Not sure how I should feel about that.
I mean, I'm all about sharing, but when he tells me about his wet dreams about Oprah, I think it's taking it too far.
cracked out the beer snorkel again. that thing has a five for five record of getting me naked.
What do you mean how did you end up there? You told him he had a face you'd like to ride, that's a deal sealer in any language.
I just handed the barista at Starbucks a panty liner instead of my card....maybe I should upgrade this Tall to a Venti...
Well... first you killed the girls goldfish, then you shoved her face in your armpit, made her cry, got kicked out, ate your cigarettes, and passed out in her driveway. Pretty successful night if you ask me
You need to let him know my only agenda is coke and sadness.
Is this like a preordered booty call?
Can my mom come with to the bar? Prince just died and I feel like I need to take her out to cheer her up.
You can have my vag. Its useless without you.
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