I just realized i haven't had sex in 2009. oh man thats embarrassing.
I want leopard sheets
haha sexcapades
thats the plan
Can Purell be used as lube?
How can i ever say i miss u when u wont go away
hey everyone... booty call? my house tonight. bring friends to fuck my friends.
Oh and probably wearing a life jacket instead of clothes didn't help things either
Guys with integrity exist just to rain on my slut parade.
She was covered in mud grabbed my crotch and said see that handprint that means I called dibs
the manly guy you want to date so badly? he's at the club. as a drag queen. wearing higher heels than you own. think about that.
They shoved things up my nose I feel violated
I'm already too high to be publicly presentable. I just looked at myself in the mirror without my sunglasses. Debated contacts. Said aloud "But I'm nothing without my sunglasses."
I just sent a snapchat of my boobs for Adderall. It's finals season.
I repeat do not go to a jail visit drunk, those stools are easy to fall off.
Every time I start to trust vodka, it does this to me.
Never let the horse trainer ride you, always ride the horse trainer. I have huge bruises on my thighs from his hip bones. That's how hard he rode me
Randomize
