Renamed my iPod as 'the titantic' so when I plug it in it's says 'the titantic is syncing.'
You say "I'm in class" like it matters... I'm getting a little tired of having to smoke by myself at 4:20 because you're in class.
Sex and the city 2 and twilight getting released in the same month. God hates mankind.
Climbing onto the roof in a dress and high heeled boots was probably not the best idea, especially after all that Bacardi.
is cock-oriented a word? I'd say I'm that lately.
Well I tried to call you. I was convinced my body was made of wood. But the Xmas lights in my room helped
I think we should bring back the casual nipple tassel
He knew exactly who I'd slept with after just one look at my crotch. He's like the Sherlock Holmes of cocks.
So, we bought a knight today. Nearly life size. Hes in the garage, so don't be startled.
He looks like he's going to feed me a taco and then stab me. It's probably a good idea he's a lawyer
Speaking of fellatio on fictional characters, the Stay Puft Marshmallow Man would be a delicious blowjob.
we were sitting in the kitchen and you kept biting my shoulder saying "itll all be over soon"
I got pushed into some bald man in the pit and spent the next few minutes with my face against his head. Man I love ecstasy.
Colombian exchange intern from my Mom's friend's ranch loves me, and is staying the night because we got each other drunk. Successful Christmas? I think yes.
The tequila monkeys have a drum solo in my skull right now. I can't imagine Emily feels better.
Randomize
