You told me alcohol would be the death of you then ordered 10 shots of tequila.
She saved the condom from the first time we did it.
The lifeguard told us we had to move Mike before the tide came in when he passed out.
Walt I've been the third wheel taking shotssssssssssssssssolo. Each s is for each solo shot.
Do you remember calling me a cuntasaurus rex last night?
The liquor store guy just accused me of buying alcohol of minors due to how many bottles I got. The guy should be used to this from me.
He professed his love for me while I danced on a picnic table with a bottle of Absolut. I said thank you and walked away.
I yelled at the dude who smoked him up "YOU'RE THE REASON I'M NOT GETTING LAID" then went to bed. So yeah, I guess it was an ok night.
They've taken all the lighthearted fun out of S&M.
Do you remember the bathroom attendant when he put out his hand for a tip and you gave him a high five?
Im going to hell I gave him a handjob on the plane next, to an old guy playing video games on his iPad, on good friday.
Vodka Red Bull is like your spinach if you were Popeye
She was on top, but I lost her at "alright, you look like predator."
So you were shitfaced and stole a fucking kayak?
I may or may not have puked near a bear on the side of the road this morning.
Randomize