If you text me again I will gut all of your stuffed animals.
her teeth looked like a whores toenails, i was too horrified to
flash back: i gave smirnoff to a group of children at walmart
is it bad that I only want to go to my boyfriends house bc I want to see his roomate walk around with his shirt off?
Responsibility does not care about your dick.
You got cut off after you tried to make the dog funnel moscato.
I really wish I had added "blowjob on a slide at a playground" to my bucket list before last night.
I just want to jump into a ballpool of dicks now.
Im dating a 38 year old who's lap I can fit in. Tell me I don't have daddy issues.
Just saw a tranny in a skimpy captain america costume walking around campus. Going to follow her. You gotta see this
I told him id do anything with him and he said angry pirate? So I said okay. Never seeing him again.
What's an angry pirate?
You dont want to know. If someone offers say no. Never ever do the angry pirate. Ever.
Instead of a hangover my body just feels like shame
That is a hangover
I would prefer a headache
She asked for references to decide whether she wanted to have sex with me. And she was serious.
I'm still waiting for God to smite you for impersonating a decent human being.
At the light, his mom pulled up next to us while I was giving him road head. He forgot to tell me she was meeting us at the movie. So long story short, I convinced her I drove myself, pick me up in 20.
Randomize
