Without porn, I would have few hobbies.
Your an asshole
Actually, it's "you're an asshole"
My point exactly
is it bad that i think of my life in terms of the sims? like when i'm hitting it off with someone, i really wish a plus sign would appear above my head. and when i throw up from drinking way too much, a minus sign.
Guess what? I had way too much to drink today. I'm properly wasted. Doing chores and playing video games while drunk. It's the nexus of stupidity and responsibility.
Black thong, sheer white shorts not a professional look. This chick has no idea what sunlight makes her outfit look like.
just heard a swedish guy suck in helium and speak in his accent. top 5 favorite moments. ever.
she just uttered the sweetest sentence in the english language...my stripper friends are coming over
I guess at this point I should stop judging guys on their looks and more on their major and trust fund. Growing up sucks.
I don't think of it as I'm taking a pole dancing class...its more like I'm making myself recession proof
i figured out i could get from the downstairs bar to the upstairs bar AND grab pizza by going through the kitchen. it was the greatest discovery of my life besides the flabongo.
if masturbating while stoned isn't called "weed whacking" then i just don't know how to live my life anymore
I just handed a girl a slice of pizza and she handed me her number. Is this how Vegas hookups normally begin?
the puppy had a little leather gag and was using a ball gag as a fetch toy
I refuse to believe you if you're trying to tell me humanity as a whole isn't sad, tired, and craving Chinese food.
it's okay that you two hooked up in the family bathroom at the mall.. i just pray to god you were not making a family in the family bathroom..
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