the bitch is dead man
YOUR DOG DIED?
no i meant my mom has passed out .. so i'll be over soon.
I was. I was trying to blow bubbles in the toilet after I threw up in it. They had to carry me everywhere. I lost a sock.
He kept saying that the puke outside the theater wasn't his and it was all a set up to keep him from partying with the whores. Then he passed out on the sidewalk.
I was really stoned haha. I had sex with her while I cooked scrambled eggs.
the coastal evacuation route ends at my vagina so you can just skip the bullshit and come over
dude when I get home wanna help me fulfill my dream of smoking a bowl out of my saxophone?
THEY HAVE VIAGRA FLAVORED GELATO
She really is something else.
Words cannot describe what though. The best way to describe her is to say it like watching a bear and a whale have sex. You don't know why it's happening or how. But it's rather funny and you can't look away.
I reek of vagina.. My cab driver commented.
Yay! Also. When you're coming down eat waffles and touch yourself. You won't regret it.
Did you put Adderal in the fishtank in the lobby? The fish are acting like Olympic sprinters. Asshole.
I just sent a dick pic to a number on Craigslist, this may be my new low
If you don't come home and fuck me soon I'm walking over there naked and dragging you home by your penis
The room got awkwardly silent right as i yelled "leave him alone! I know plenty of straight guys who like to suck dick!"
You made me promise I wouldnt let you play "fuck fuck goose" with a 40 year old ever again.
Randomize
