her vagina looked like a handful of raisins.
Do you how many people I've successfully loaded into a Mazda Miata? Six. Six people. How? Strategically.
Then he showed me his sketchbook. Every drawing was a hand in different 'fingering positions'. Dear JESUS.
She walked in on her brother jacking off and she hasn't been the same since. She's been crying and shaking non-stop. It's been two weeks.
You almost make it sound as if getting an education to further your career is more important than beer and tacos.
just found out they live across the street from coke dealers... rethinking the new years resolution
I took a few sips of my hugeee bottle of liquid Vicodin and smoked my one hitter and now I'm going thru my attic like Indiana Jones
I think the name vodka for a girl is amazing
It was fine until they started lighting shots of everclear on fire and making ME take them. That's when shit went down...
Awkward sister question: which game of thrones female left would you fuck?
My new roommate is awesome. His father owns a bar and his sister has an E cup. I'm going to be with him forever
moral of the story: if your going to mix ambien and free skyclub alcohol, take a direct flight or have a layover in a city you wouldn't mind having to return to for a court date.
When we found you, you were half crying/half singing Taylor swift songs at 2am in the bathroom, and occasionally puking. I think I get "friend of the year" award just for putting up with your drunk ass all night.
Do I masturbate or eat a pound of matazah. Alissa help what do I do??
I'll be naked. By 11. Then arrested. Drunk tank adventures
Randomize