i have the juiciest gold medal in my pants
I'll let you put expensive food in me, but really, not much else.
Everything we own is covered in grass and KY
Your favorite bartender is back from prision
I closed that bar. Sang every Beatles song in the book. Made Somoan friends.
It finally happened. My conscience stopped working. I've never felt so free
Congratulations!! You are the WINNER of a brand new BLOWJOB!! You can collect your prize between the hours of 12pm and 1pm today, anywhere you'd like!!! :)
An don't say it's "personal preference" cause I don't buy it. I just want to have normal cool guy balls. I don't want to be the dude that's still rocking the equivalent of the "mid 90's bowl cut" of scrotum haircuts.
He's trying to marry me, when is the appropriate time to tell him my real name and that Dallas is a completely fictitious slutty alter ego? I need the advice of someone with morals.
I've been on the toilet for an hour. On a six day bender. My ass feels like its leaking vodka
I have never appreciated strippers so much. Ma'am, you are an artist
I feel like there should be a 'roommate information section' of the paperwork when there's a chance you'll be given pain killers.
IM AT A ROOFTOP FUNDRAISER LOOKING OVER THE WHITE HOUSE I WILL NOT RUIN MYSELF
Got my client divorced finally. He was even awarded the cat ashes. Yep I went to law school for this.
If by whore you mean UPGRADE....then yes I am
Randomize
