SEEEEXXX PLEASE
I don't know where I am, but its a Goosebumps novel waiting to happen.
So the guy sitting next to me is watching dungeons and dragons on youtube. I didnt realize you could get more pathetic than actually playing the game.
$1.99 mimosas n bloodys til 3. Happy hour starts at 4. We're gonna ride the mechanical bull to kill the hour inbetween.
Please take video.
pretty sure i had my hand down BOTH their pants at the same time at some point...
Nothing makes my dick softer than hot girls in rain boots.
I just realized last night I drunk-bought a flight to Florida for this weekend...kinda torn between the price and the potential of awesomeness
Just saw a motorized bathtub. I think this college thing is gonna work out.
This is your monthly public service announcement that sexual services will temporarily cease from Wednesday night to Monday. Please plan accordingly and have a nice day =D
im the best fifth wheel. all four of them separately bribed me to never speak of what happened last night
It's now 8:05 on a Wednesday night and I'm already going home with my bra in my purse.
some girl at the bar told me my beard would tickle every inch of her body till she joy puked her face off.... that was so random and odd i just had to buy her a drink for having the guts to say it to me. WTF
The shit I just took was four, very distinct colors. Jager night was a success
Ehhh, contemplating pain killers and fruit snacks if that's any indication.
They were arguing about who would hit the piñata first so naturally you tore it open with your hands. You broke the piñata and their hearts.
Randomize
