Ketchup is God's man juice
you were chalanging people to drink the "worlds biggest jager bomb" - a VASE of Redbull and a PINT of Jager... is it no wonder you dont remember anything?
There is a semi-attractive guy at the door who's looking for you. Says he met you on Chatroulette. Start explaining NOW.
i'm not a hellocoptur, but youer in a dorm ans im un a dorm
Sorry I was drunk and left blood all over your back seat I was pretending to be in private Rayan and used your thong as a bandage
btw theres a pine tree in the downstairs shower. the guys thought it would be a great free air freshener.
I just want to hug my vagina but I can't!\nLike, I want to wrap my arms around it and say "I'm sorry"
Maybe you should start carrying pepper spray. You are like the Justin Bieber of lesbians.
It felt like Party Santa dropped by and gave us two more 18-packs.
I'm just gonna go with where the wind takes me. if it takes me to his dick, so be it.
Two months ago an unknown man was in my bed and now he is my boyfriend and he has 1.6 million in the bank and he buys me things because I only have $4.35 in my bank account
It could happen to you too!
I am a good friend because I got you a bagel. I am a bad friend because I ate half of it.
Whoever decided to put a Denny's that close to the strip club is a genius.
Lol woke up with mangoes in bed with me
Hold on I'll be right there, I can't find my arm.
Randomize
