i am so afraid to go to the bathroom. i am afraid i am going to fall asleep on the toillet.
Special does not even begin to describe that text.
think im gonna go get a six pack before class and sit in the back of the room...
dont like to call her my roomate, too cordial. i refer to her as the whore that was assigned to live with me
Somehow after we left in 3 different cars to all go to different places we still all ended up in the emergency room
I also slapped not one but two bananas on the ass, twerked in public, and I think I made out with someone
He's in grad school at Harvard. I suppose that means my vagina is now smarter than I am.
he had shaved armpits. I repeat: HE SHAVED. HIS. ARMPITS! First hookup of 2014 and it's with a weirdo. Alcohol:1 Me:0
I have bruises all over my legs. Did I hit a car with my bike last night?
I am passing the whore torch on to you my friend. Do me proud
That's so awful of me. Instead of comforting her I masturbated in front of my ex-boyfriend.
Turns out end of the world sex is H-O-T, HOoot! I'll be the only progressive lady smiling today
I am afraid of asking him for his new number so I continue to text the one that's no longer in service.
Quit bitching. I brought you a muffin.
ever feel bored AND lazy?
I call it "awake" but yeah...
I may just have to resign myself to life in flats. He's a sexy little chipmunk that worships me.
Randomize
