'hiiiigh' is saved in my t9 for a reason
I was being carried out of the bar, but then my friend saw Pat who just got kicked out scaling the wall to sneak back in, so he carried me back in, sat me on the bar stool, and the bartender just let us all keep drinking.
Being persistent has its perks my friend.
I just heard a teenager say to his friend "dats my baby! i was hittin her up on myspace like gurllll. she got me steamin". must have missed the memo its 2005 and we still use myspace.
spell your last name, im trying to find you on facebook
You were partners with her mom and you began calling her "the Robert Horry of beer pong" You also kept telling her that she was hotter than her daughter.
I'm drinking reisling in a paper cup by myself in the garage.
You taught me that having a dip while u shit is awesome. I appreciate u for that
no i did not stop my best friend from eating out my sister...bros before hoes
Dude she let me cum on her face
You have the wrong number I'm the she who let you cum on her face unless some other girl has let you since this morning
She went into the basement and sang to my cat for three hours....she actually has a beautiful voice....
what kind of roommate is she really? she wouldn't even hold my hair back.
Well, I tried to shit into my refrigerator. It was a rough night.
No it's like. I don't respect you. And I think you're a terrible person but. I still wanna bone it out.
I sign my lease Thursday, I'm about to be released back into the wild.
I'll make missing person signs.
You're a good friend.
I think I am just gonna marry that lesbian. She is more of a respectful gentleman than any of the guys I've slept with.
Randomize
