When I went to court, my judge's name was Honorable Ball. I couldn't stop laughing.
that probably didn't help your case.
it hurts more in the daytime
they say celebs die in threes. leave it to billy mays to throw in one extra COMPLETELY FREE!
the red, white, and blue power rangers were all also in the porn buisness, good bye childhood
I put so much effort into my vagina today. If i don't get laid tonight I'm gonna be pissed.
I got an 8 ball and a free entrance pass to the strip club, if i dont get laid tonight I never will.
Goldfish can't live in a bowl filled with tequila, lesson learned.
there is nothing like a happy birthday present when you wake up with a bow on your vagina.
My parents called me out on catching us walking home from the bar in a swimming motion because "it was too windy to walk" home...
Can we just focus for a minute on the fact that I HAD MY FIRST LESBIAN ENCOUNTER.
Right. How rude of me to inform you that you're going to be an aunt.
How do u even exfoliate your vagina
I'm still alive btw, in case you were worried about my well being.
Nothing like a near-death experience to start off your Thanksgiving...
Still drunk. lying on the floor just rubbing my cats nipples
Andddddd I'm drunk
Andddddd it's Tuesday
That's your opinion.
Randomize
