This chick, for whatever reason, has serious "Leave your wife and kids and also break up her young marriage in order to frolick for a good 2 weeks before I realize that she's just like the rest of them and I made a huge mistake and ruined a lot of lives in the process" potential. It's SO INTRIGUING.
I am the Bobby Fisher of drunk asss puking
I sent her a Relationship Request on Facebook last night, she accepted and we fucked.. I changed my Relationship Status to Single, I think she'll get the point
Best morning ever. I saw a bum giving another bum a blowjob downtown.
After what u did to that bathroom I think the $30 and the "sorry I'm a jackass" note was the thing to do.
Using what I learned in my global terrorism class last semester to sneak booze onto my cruise. thanks college.
I mean, I'm twenty four years old and I've never paid for my own drink. You can't say that any of your ex girlfriends boobs are THAT great.
You just made it sound like a children's toy! It's a functioning body organ, my vagina is not a gameboy!!!
The last thing I remember was you puking all over the inside of my door and him yelling "PUKING RALLY!!!"
Dude. Once again. Cleaning house. Found weed I hid from myself a month ago. Celebrating/testing it out. if i dont text back in 10, call dominos.
Yo, I can't just ask my mom where she relocated my vibrator to, can I?
An old man just slapped my ass and handed me five dollars while I was filling chips at subway. I feel violated, but that was the easiest five dollars I've ever made.
Well, let's just say, I got that eye patch like we were joking about
Im playing a game I have to take a drink every time my gram asks me the same question hammered by 4 guaranteed...
In order to get rid of my bladder infections I must give up caffeine, nicotine and tight pants. It's like my pussy is an angry dictator or something
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