I just put on my hot pinky lace thong... you know what that means! ;)
Oh god. Slutty you is on the run. Someone needs to alert the city.
I'm reading about reasons for wearing clothing. IS THIS COLLEGE OR PRESCHOOL?
Omg. There's def a kid, like 10 years old, sitting in a buggy at wal mart holding a sign that reads "I can't behave"
Whats a good hint for stop bitching im gonna give you head
even the AIR tastes like tequila.
First I must say that I am disappointed to learn that you knowingly have trashy friends with whom you've not hooked me up.
she's lying on the floor with a bottle of vodka, belting shakira. plz advise.
Found half of a five day old piece of pizza behind my dresser. Apparently it was drunkenly set there and got knocked down. It was such a happy reminder of last weekend.
I found a cheeseburger next to my tub once. It's there to shame you, but it always just makes me feel more awesome.
holy fuck that shirt looks so good on him, it was like he was born with it on. that shirt deserves a blow
It's cosmic balancing. My vagina is an instrument of karmic retribution.
Dude, please tell me you know why there's a naked chick asleep outside my room.
I like how she'll post a picture on Instagram with her boyfriend and 2 hours later you'll send me a snap of her panties on your rear view mirror
Well this guy just went into a detailed lecture about how rinos are developing into unicorns.. It's gonna be a good night.
I just realized that this is the first time I've ever seen your mom without sucking your cock.
You told him he “could park his dick in your garage”.
Well he didn’t. It shouldn’t be this hard to get a penis.
Randomize
