No, don't ignore my call, i just need to know, whats cuter a pig in boots or a miniature horse sitting down..
Say my name once during sex just to fuck with her. Like when it gets rough.
would you ever date a girl who drove an 89 Chrysler LeBaron? - for the record it's a convertable
On a scale of one to Chris Brown, how angry are you?
he asked me to hangout with him...and his son
fact: I now appreciate my drunken winter self even more. I just found $20 in my winter coat with a note that says keep yourself warm next winter. I am awesome.
get ready to load up the weird cannon and blow a load of buck-wildness all over the place people
I just can't promise there won't be a reason to hit you in the face with a dildo again in the future.
He laid on the ground 100 ft from the car crying about how he just wanted to be home already
I think I may have just taught my whole hall how to give a good blow job. So this is college.
She gave you a handy in the bar and you were surprised she was good with a dick?
Hahah good point
I woke up in someone's flat in Budapest and then got offered a free piercing before I left. Best. Hookup. Ever.
Have 7 min to kill while I wait for liquor store to open. Feels really awkward.
Idk maybe I'll talk to him once he gets out of jail just to yell at him and get my strawberry ice cream back.
Dude, seriously, fucking stop introducing me as "Thomas, with the dick piercing." you are the worst wingman ever.
Randomize