We'll make it into fun. If I can make wii bowling into a drinking game, I can make studying spanish into a sex game.
you kept talking about how hot andy milinakis is and the things you would do with him. no more tequila from him.
Eating hibachi. The chef is squirting sake into my mouth with a ketchup bottle. Happened twice, more to come.
I wish guys would just cum water 'cause you don't have to worry about being pregnant and it'd be like a squirt gun fight
What I dont get, is for a man with a penis his size, to choose to go back with another girl instead of one that he says is the best sex he's ever had. He cant afford to be picky.
Just so we're on the same page, we cannot have been the first people to have ever thought about shooting that guy with crossbow
She passed out in the backyard, making "face down" snow angels ... so they could have a smile.
the cop didnt laugh with me when he patted me down and pulled out my flask.
I just want you to know that we eye fucked the shit out of someone who just got drafted
He's laying next to me passed out dressed as a hooters girl
I bet he's a super pretty hooters girl
I'm still in my ugly sweater and underwear drinking coffee next to a plate of assorted treats we stole from the party. I got a new sweater by the way, its shoulderpad-y and looks like a news anchor got thrown up on by Liberace. I'm pretty proud.
All he did was like my Instagram picture and I'm already planning how to turn down sex with him this weekend...
The plane down was full of newly weds and I counted 5 pairs of mile high club members. Actually, one might have been a group membership discount.
I don't remember, but I believe your goodnight phrase was "nice meeting you, thanks for not macing me"
I am stoned, not wearing a bra, and a woman. There is no way in fuck I am getting on a fucking bus.
Randomize
