just so you know, the whole club saw your tits last night. and booed.
Different chick, same blowjob, same parking lot.
new low: just stole a ciggarette from a bum sleeping on the side of the street.
ohh what kind?
I don't know how to tell my mom that I'm not sober enough to drive to the dentist...
I don't care if he is my ex... I have the deed to his dick until someone else fucks him. We broke up 2 years ago.... I am still holding that deed!
Since when does wearing a condom and going down on me make someone a gentlemen?
she said if she won the lottery she'd fuck me... isn't that like government funded prostitution?
So I used the "I've never cummed from a BJ before" line last night.
And that worked?
9 for 9! Not only does it give them a goal but they have a sense of accomplishment afterwards.
you do realize eating doritos and gatorade as a breakfast hangover cure is only acceptable for one more month - then we have to grow up
OK, the bar's closing. Do I go to home to my wife or my girlfriend?
I figured out why I insisted on leaving my sweater on the ground outside. I smelled it and I'm 97% sure I peed on it last night
I think my hand is broken. But his nose definitely is
I'm tellin ya, let the nipple get some air, they'll hire u on the spot, lawyers love a little nip
Actually here it's more "lie around naked in a dark room" weather.
I am available for nakedness
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