I hope you never procreate. Philly is already the ugliest city in the country.
oh my she just said cum sticks to her dentures so when she blows if they let her she takes them out
you really should stop posting my phone number on craigslist as tranny seeking tranny, last night i answered at family dinner and almost choked on my hot dog
do you not see the irony in that??
I have all these new brothers and sisters I'm just now finding out about
she just made a shot glass out of magazine paper. I love her.
In a meeting with the accounting department. This shit is even more boring in real life and there isn't a professor to wake me up.
dude,it's memorial day.not getting wasted=you're a terrorist
do you know what somber means? it's kinda the opposite of a kegstand
it's like his penis is God's way of saying "sorry about his face"
No fireworks. Throwing the old microwave off the deck.
When we were grinding I think your nuva ring fell into my shoe
Forced to cancel my booty call due to the snowpocalypse. This crosses the line.
I'm only wearing socks and eating tuna, don't do this to me right now.
I'm to the point where I just want to get back at him in a hot man sex tornado way.
If i'm not ready, make sure i'm alive. Not passed out dead in the shower.
I'll still do breakfast to celebrate the life you've had.
Randomize
