i seriously hope you fucking die....you are the worst.
SHit! Sorry, sent to wrong person
Spraying perfume on pants makes them clean right?
I am at The Loft in SoNo, and there are two girls within arms reach that are making out with each other AGGRESIVELY. Like I can see 100% of a boob
For future reference, this is Trevors little sisters phone now. Trevs number is 484 XXX XXXX. Great story tho
He said if I blew him first he'd last longer....if 3 minutes is lasting longer, I'm not sure the bj was worth it
just saw a guy throwing up in the urinal at Dennys. Either he had one hell of last night or we are going to eat somewhere else
I can only imagine the horrible things my future wife is doing on spring break right now.
i went to a real vip club. the bathroom attendant was wiping down counters after girls wearing gucci did lines of coke on them. where did MY life go wrong
She threw up on me during morning sex and now Im pretty sure I just saw a woman die at 7-eleven. This is way too much for a Monday morning
The moment that kid turns 18, I will have his sperm for all three meals.
Oh God. You're going to jail
The "don't have sex with him again" alerts you set on my phone just started going off.
Good. "Seriously, don't do it" should start in about five minutes.
He told me he felt like he was just pistol-whipped by Testicle Man.
All I want is to get shitfaced and fuck random strangers is that really to much to ask?
you were trying to drink the laundry detergent and yelling blue drankkkkk
I miss seeing you
i hope for the sake of your safety you were not with your girlfriend while sending texts like that at 3 am
oh dont worry mom i am not sick my cough is from a recent increase in recreational drug use
that will happen
Randomize
