You drank the expired grape juice because you were convinced it had fermented into wine...you have a problem.
Peed on my phone. Dried it out in oven. Technology is both a plus and a minus.
He kissed my cheek and I could smell it the whole way home like shit
She's singing So Happy Together to her burrito, I want to be on her level.
The guy in the cast riped the tap off the keg and hit steve with it
i just peed with my friends in your backyard... do you still live here
You know it was a good weekend when; you leave a bi-lingual letter of apology on top of a stack of cash for hotel housekeeping.
Ya I guess if we compared our actions now with our actions 2 years ago. We are definitely in a constant state of shit showness.
I thought it was a myth but I have just reached the age of sitting on my balls. Not a fan.
I know you're gay. But if I'm not getting dick, then you have to. That's what friends do.
Running my fingers through my hair is like that scene from Patch Adams where the girl goes swimming in a pool of spaghetti. I love molly.
I just want to nap and funnel a bottle of wine in a cute dress
I'm sorry my shit is everywhere... I accidentally got drunk while packing
i need to get drunk because i'm an angry sober
We broke into a construction site had sex on a scissor lift and realized it was a church...tomorrow again??
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