Just wanted to let you know that if you need my services as a male dancer for his birthday, let me kno so I can clear my schedule
why did i make a hit list last night containing only McDonalds?
you tried to order a magarita mcflurry and when they said they didnt make those you tried to call 911
I think horse shit smells the best of all shits.
This adderall has me convinced I'm an Econ major.
Dude. Zebras have bad attitudes.
and a jello shot exploded in my bra last night. Now I have blueberry smurfette boobs. Awesome.
Knowing that porn stars want to fall in love is the weirdest thing I've found to be beautiful recently. I'm so lonely.
I told him I wish we were at my house cause then I could tell him to get out after we had sex.
I've never seen so much of my blood outside me. After the initial shock it was kind of cool.
Nothing says depression like laying in your bed stoned, naked, and eating a cupcake
You invited these random guys into your apartment that you met in the hallway...& then you started screaming at them to get out cause you didn't know who they were.
I'm not just straddling the line between love and hate, I'm dry humping the shit out of it
I learned the hard way a garbage bag will not save you when jumping from a tree at 2am
I'm having to shit out rocks
I am high. And my mom surpised me today. Now i am high and with my mom....bad idea
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