My toast was "here's to being positive, and testing negative... Cheers!"... after that chick gagged on her shot, everyone knew.... slut.
he just sent me a friend request on facebook. i wish it were physically possible to vomit on him through the internet.
Nothing says true friendship like 2 people bonding over potentially having AIDS.
come on don't hate me. your brother looks just like you its almost a complement that i had sex with him.
just threw all of the fireworks into the bonfire. thats why there are firetrucks.
She just drank the vanilla extract. Again. AGAIN. No one should be that eager to get drunk.
i ordered a pipe on amazon, and under recommended items, it gave me a top hat. it knows me better than my parents.
its kind of scaring me that i am turned on by tom cruise in rock of ages
her wearing orange crocs at the bar was definitely a great form of contraception
We turned on "find my friends" and watched her progress. Got concerned when she didn't move for an hour on Adelaide, turned out a booty call was made, then she went back to the bars.
You haven't lived until you have fucked while Fantasia is on
I now have a "weirdest thing a guy ever did in bed" story. Cut my fingernails.
Yeah I'm gonna need you to stop it right there.I know this is supposed to be a safe space but Imma have to exit.
Tinder recommend to a friend: making threesomes easier since 2016
Babe, I'm gunna be straight with you. When you act like a dick it makes me regret not fucking my manager last week.
You wanna explain to me why there is a banana shoved down my pants?
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