I need to go to a fraternity... my boobs are telling me to.
Is it sad i was sitting here thinkin how i would only fuck Rob Pattinson if he was glittery at said time.
Do you ever think that bumblebee is the gay transformer?
Every day of my life.
last night i found where hot topic managers go to die after they get fired.
Just saw 3 10-year olds in business suits drinking iced coffees at the cafe. I'm officially a failure if these kids have jobs and I don't.
do you ever think like no deep thought could take place in the spanish language? like all they talk about is like tacos?
how high are you?
I have a date tonight... Like a real date... Not the kind where you just go over to his house and have sex and then never speak again.
I didn't think about how painful the pumpkin seeds coming up the next morning would be. Oh well, I'm good at making pumpkin seeds and that's all that matters.
If the cops knock on your door and ask if you saw anyone throw an orange out the window I was never there.
How was the party? Lets put it this way: "He wants her dick" was a factual sentence stated last night.
Because you failed to stop the wedding, now I have to be a homewrecker. My eternal damnation is on your head I hope you're proud.
I hummed the theme from jaws while she was taking the pregnancy test....needless to say she was not pleased
Want to come over and dangle your tits on top of me like a skewer?
Noooo no no no no. She scares me. She means business. She wore a diaper when we went to the bar.
Do you remember trying to eat the shower curtain last night...?
Randomize
