I'm playing the sound guy on a porno set
ron's 8" boning knife is for sale. oh and it comes with a flavor injector.
High?
hahahahaha turkey breast
last night i was so high that when a homeless person asked me for a dollar, i responded: dolla dolla bill ya'll.
she is the female version of PC from the mac and pc commercials..i'll still hit tho
My roomate just said the he would "tap dat" to the 13 out of control girl on maury. Im finding a new place in the morning.
Would it be cruel if i sold xanax instead of adderall to freshman unfamiliar to the drug-taking profession?
In the 30 seconds it took me to leave the bar I let the barback motorboat me, ripped open a stranger's shirt and bit his chest, then made out with El Camino dude. No, I'm not coming out tonight.
Were you paying girls to come up and grab my cock and tell me I look like bradley Cooper?
I'm not sure that our 12-years-ago-high-school-"relationship," and 179 texts in the last 4 hours is gonna be enough to squeeze a naked smartphone picture of me. I'm gonna need some chicken wings or Makers Mark before that starts happening.
The homeless guy who goes through my garbage cans just gave me a flyer for an AA group.
why does drunk me think that doing things like throwing up on my desk and all over my 15 page lab report is okay
It's like fucking tetris in this bed
I didn't pay $79 for lingerie for you to cum in 30 seconds
The amount of guys I've turned down for you is disgusting... You better love me.
they gave me money. the money smells like weed. also they gave me weed
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