she looked like the bat from fern gully.
So this girl in my math class just went to the bathroom, tampon in hand, comes back with it still in her hand starts digging around in her purse, takes her thing of birthcontrol out, goes oh fuck, and downs the rest of the pills. Got to love college.
Only girl at that party wearing a fake beard and I STILL get laid...
He was doing push ups, crunches and jogging in place in front of the restaurant. I'm not too sure I want to eat there if it requires immediate exercise following the meal.
I just got over my period in 3 days...I believe that is god's way of saying "go fuck an amazingly attractive Italian boy on vacation"
When she talks to me all I hear are 5 generations of inbreeding speaking.
Jen gave my number to some guy she met in NY. He sent me a picture of his weiner. He had nice shoes. I replied with a pic of bacon.
When in doubt always reply with bacon.
Until this weekend, a man hadn't made me orgasm since the night Obama was elected. Now THAT is change I can believe in.
Some guy offered you 100 bucks last night to suck your toes. I had to drag you away while you were yelling at me, "Stop money cock blocking me!"
That's just where I'm at in my life.
I found my hair extensions. They were in my hamper.
Like the friend zone has no room for winks
Is it day drinking when the suns up like when does that start
asking for a friend
I'm soaking her vibrators in tabasco and wasabi paste. "furious" is an understatement
Just got thrown out of the club for making condom water balloons. I'm not ashamed.
tell raye i said hi and sorry for bleeding on the limes
Randomize
