haha I love it when I find out that girls who were mean to me in middle school are now some random dude's baby mama. thanks, facebook.
I'm on a cruise to the Bahamas and this text message is gunna cost me $10 but I need you to pray on my behalf for the things I'm about to do these 2 girls and what I did last night to a 35 year old mother of 3.
Being a responsible DD does not include attempting to coordinate a 4 taxi caravan to bar #3
that's not even the weird part though. he already knew where the bathroom was, he might have been here before..
This is the first time I have ever hoped it's poison ivy on my cock
I'm wearing red that night.
Noted, what shade?
Whore.
I just blurted out "it's pretty tight isn't it"
Things I learned last night: 1. Bacardi 151 is a one-way ticket to the toilet, 2. It is possible for a human being to turn into Mount Vesuvius
The power of the half flaccid cock, and to think, I thought I was just playing accordion in front of her Vagina!
When you sleep in the bathroom, you're no longer a guest.
How did I get the fat lip, while puking I may or may not have sneezed... Wacking my face into the toilet bowl...
You're emotionally mature, right? I said you were.
I have at least four things in my line of sight that have Kermit the Frog on them in my dorm. Does that answer your question?
Everytime I give him head I make him rub my back. Teamwork at it's finest.
I banged a marine last night. No wonder everybody respects them.
I just came in my own mouth don't ask me how cuz it really hurt and felt good at the same time.
Randomize
