Wow that girl who lives a couple houses down is going out wearing butterfly wings a skirt and fishnets
So we fuck and I say, "I'm about to go." He tells me, "No, leave at ten.. just lay here for a little while." When I ask, "Why?!" He gets his feelings hurt and says, "ugh. or don't." Since when did guys start acting like girls?
I'm not working tomorrow. need to take advantage of the last opportunity for weeks of morning sex.
I woke up with semen in my invisalign. My molars were just marinating in it
I told her she has a very organized vagina; somehow she took offense.
I drank myself into bisexuality again.
Thanks for talking me down from peeing on his window last night.
I am now curious as to how you would have aimed.
me neither. i remember bell pepper tequila but not why or yelling
Hahaha, I forgot about doing shots out of the bell pepper
She got drunk on the air plane and pretended to be an elephant for an hour...Atleast the kid behind us enjoyed it.
I'm dressed as a caveman and drunk so that's not really an option
You came out of your room naked under your open robe with a mouth full of brownie on a stick and grabbed a fistful of fruit loops and shoved them into your already full mouth.
My heart wants him and my vagina wants him...to have a bigger dick.
I was on top for a full on make out when in dead silence "I'm moaning Myrtle" came from the TV. Moment ruined. I got cock blocked by a fictional ghost
I also woke up in a bed soaked of pee and drunkenly lectured him on the dangers of chewing tobacco... weird night
I told him to take his man panties off and take the fucking Jaeger bomb already, so no to a 2nd date
Randomize
