I just saw Ann slam dunk her puke bag into a trash can on Avenue A. You ladies might want to consider putting the Patron shots down and going home.
Literally like 10 people walking in my building talking about how much they hate draco
That chode just called off the engagement. I just dropped his toothbrush in the toilet. And I’ve forgotten to take my birth control for the past two weeks. He’s fucked!
Remember when the only STD we had to worry about were hickies? Those were the days
You came into my room at 3am.. drunk.. and asked to do spanish homework together. Props for being a good student.
I know I am usually the slut but tonight it's her. She is being a slut, yes slut, T as in Tomorrow, U as in Uterus, L as in Llama and S as in Sangria. That spells slut, but backwards and that's what she is being.
Doctorate. Vaginahole. Cinnamon. Rainbow. Fill in the blanks in the morning.
Finally put clothes on I've been laying naked in the bed for approximately 4 hours since I showered and by showered I mean when I laid down in the bathtub with the shower on
Fuck morning classes and our weekday drinking habits.
My bruised ribs were so worth that win in beer pong
my life is about to be the like the hunger games except with penises. and im going to win.
Also, if you all get arrested i'm coming to laugh at you because i don't have the money for bail.
My dad just accidentally taught me how to make fake IDs. I love my life.
You just want to live out all your fuck fantasies with all these girls through me. I know your game. Well played sir.
mid-october of freshman year. goals have shifted from "no more guys on my floor" to "all the guys on my floor."
Randomize
