The more I throw up, the more I am remembering exactly what I drank last night...in order.
i just fucked the bartender on my cruise to get free alcohol. have things gone too far?
It was so weird. I had like an out of body experience. I heard the moaning, but I didn't know it was me.
Don't worry we found her. Somehow she ended up on my roof with 2 bar stools
Omg. I bid $3000 on a cave in Afghanistan on EBay last night.
Is my lip ring still in your hair?
Tough to say exactly how to play this. I just know people don't like surprises when genitals are involved.
The jerky fairy visited my fridge. It's glorious.
I have no idea how I got home or why I am naked but I assume I owe you a thank you...
it's gotten to the point where there are no existing good choices. even our good choices are bad choice by anyone's standards but ours.
Had sex with him again...yikes. and the whole time he kept saying "i wish we could do this forever." Forever lasted about 45 seconds
I was hooking up with this girl last night and she's on top of me with "Flux Pavilion - I can't stop" grinding in the background and I thought "Holy shit I'm going to do a lot of Molly this semester."
8 stitches. Next time I decide to twerk while doing a keg stand, stop me.
What can i say, my face is nice and my body is just unreal. And my beer pouring/stealing is incredible \n
I mean, if I asked you, would you cum on cotton candy for me?
Randomize
