I just peed in my kitchenbs sinlk. New low- maybe. am i embarrassed? Not in the least
I know you didn't add your TWO random hook ups from the weekend to your FB friends AND change your status to "Good Catholic Girl" on the same day.
I feel like none of my dresses scream slut the way I'd like them to
You really need to tell him that he has a girlfriend. I'm not sure he knows
Home remedy for the herp. Black tea. I need to strap teabags to my wang.
He cut you off when you said Paula Dean was in your soul...He kicked you out when "Paula" started eating random peoples food
His bootycalls folder in his contacts are divided into regions, we should have all become airline pilots.
It took him an hour to realize I wasn't this "Sarah" girl, and by then he was already crying and eating pizza rolls.
There is a pile of hair outside the apartment next door. At least now I know what all that shouting was about last night.
You ever got drunk on $5? Cuz it's about to happen
soo...what's the appropriate way to ask to come over and take your S&M lingerie out of your ex's apartment? big weekend planned, kinda need it.
David pulled a magic mike again and started stripping on every street sign we passed.
Would it be weird if i sent him a "happy fuckiversary" text?
I didn't realize how hungover I was until I fell asleep in my math lecture, and woke up I'm my history class. How is got there still remains a mystery...
Maybe I’ll just go to the party as myself
What, a homewrecker?
Touché
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