Dub. In the bra. Dub in the bra.
before i die, we are going to oregon and playing oregon trails for real. like putting things in a hat & people will pull out whether they live or die. and they die of fun things like typhoid, dysentary, or hunting accident.
I don't remember coming home but there is cereal EVERYWHERE
hey sry I lost all my numbers who is this?
pat the guy you slept with
still need a last name
We decided to smoke and then made crosses on our foreheads for ash wednesday
mom would be proud
youre totally missing out on eating your boogers right now. my entire face is numb
well you haven't lived until you've been 86'ed from a family restaraunt
Mowing drunk should be an olympic sport...
He poured syrup on all those broken dishes because "syrup is magical, and by the time we wake up, they'll be fixed."
Find a vagina and bring it to me. Like feeding a tiger.
I found my limit. I will not, in fact, blow my 78 year old professor for an A in his class.
5 minutes Isn't even long enough to bring me even close to an orgasm. How selfish. Think about baseball and fuck me you idiot.
Your skill with memes is vaguely frightening
So, I ran into Garrett last night in the laundry room.
Oh really? First post break-up run in. How'd it go? Awkward?
Um. We had sex on a washing machine.
I just mixed tangerine juice with sauv blanc. on an unrelated note, my episide of intervention is slated to run in April.
Randomize
