Last night this chick queefed when I was going down on her. Thinking if you! xo
can we get nightvision for the apartment?
Can I use cash for clunkers to trade in her boobs for a new set of 18 year old tits?
Its worth a shot.
Dude I totally just watched a girl put a tampon soaked in vodka up her vag
I need new friends
My friend is getting herself a tramp stamp that says "property of the half blood prince".
how does a 20 year old who hasnt gone through puberty yet score the game winning goal? fuck sidney crosby and his small nuts.
just threw up in the bus full of other international students just outside of boulder, just keeping the aussie reputation alive
That's why there are breakfast margaritas.
I have reached the point in my life where I realized this is what I'm going to do for the rest of my life. Eat, shit , bar, drink, drank, drunk.
Dude, you punched me in the face bc I wasnt ordering your tbell fast enough. Then when you got it, you threw it out the window bc, and I quote, "OBAMACAREEEE!"
Just accidentally flashed my junk to the lady helping me try on suits, it was cold in there, I don't think she was impressed.
Are you jealous of my sweatsuit? It's how I get men on Tinder.
Talked to the dude for a hour . I now know where he lives, his occupation, his goals, his dreams and what his dick looks like.
You shouted "my financial aid just came in, who wants a shot?!" Half the bar followed
I think I may have just hit a new slutty low! ..... Just purchased the Costco pack of condoms... $9.99/48 pack = amazing deal! The judgement when I bust out the value pack = priceless!!!
Randomize
