Cruel joke of nature. Hair on head runs from face, and hides on various parts of body. Aging sucks.
yes he's amazing in bed. he made me like, black out. everything went black it was weird. so yes, i'd fuck him again. plus, he has every season of buffy on dvd
I didn't want to have to tell you this, violating our brother/sister code not to discuss these things but: for the love of christ stop inviting that 21 year old idiot I slept with for six months to EVERY PARTY WE THROW.
you tried to fill your inhaler with vodka
I still have his teeth marks on the base of my penis. You didnt miss much
When you give the bridesmaid toast someday at my wedding I need you to quote Ricky Bobby in some form. And slip in your sister has the vagina of awesomeness. That is all.
Is this one of those "if you didnt give such good head we couldn't be friends" moments?
Dude if I call tonight please answer and just say "NO, dont do it."
BAT SHIT CRAZY
It's you're fault, even though I never called
He just pulled a Spanish chick using google translate!!!! We are at the bar and she speaks zero English. Hes a fucking magician!!!!!!
i've now hooked up with two guys who have tattoos of their sister's names...so that's a reality i have to live with...
Do you think you can chase a shot with chicken soup?
Just walked outside my house; realized I wasn't wearing any pants after about 3 minutes or so.
Drunk, high, hungover?
...I wish I had an excuse.
What's an appropriate gift to bring to my boyfriend's wife's baby shower?
Shame?
I'm wearing men's underwear
I don't know what to do with that information...
I remember is someone saying "I smell weed" and then having a room full of sober high school kids look at me.
Randomize
