I just woke up in the back of his van. Bring me a sunkist.
My place. Tomorrow Night. Bring your liver, and something for it to do.
bitch asked me if i cared if she kept her snuggie on while we had sex
Its the Friday before break. There are 20 kids in my 300 person lecture hall. All with the same what the fuck am I doing here look on there face.
but there are maragaritas for $3 so that was all i needed to hear
Let's create a 16 and pregnant drinking game
Her facebook status is 'PERCS ON DECKKK~' which is probably why she still lives with her parents.
the realtor just asked me if i've ever made meth on this property.... i need to do something about my hair
Sorry I fell asleep again. I'm in the shower now. Door is unlocked. Condoms are in my desk. I want your game face on for when I get out.
I literally told her "she's a sandwich I'd like to make" and that's all it took
Hungover. Have to fix everything I've broken. I'm gonna be very late.
What's it called where you go to the stripclub with two guys that have both gone down on you...
Tuesday
I just spent a solid 3 minutes trying to figure out how to send a smell through my phone
I went to a party last night....I stole all of their ornaments and the toaster oven.
Things he has managed to cum on so far on spring break: my bikini, my back-up bikini, three of my four bras, two pairs of panties, four beds, six chairs, the floor of several hotel rooms, the window/door to the balcony from both sides, my tits, my face, my stomach, his stomach, my ass, his best friend's girlfriend's face, and his best friend's dick.
Just FYI spring break is over and you're supposed to be back in class but hey sounds like you had your orgy so congrats.
Randomize