Cool, see you soon... she just admitted to her friends that it was a queef.
am i at home because theres a dig starrrrring at me and i dont know wit plus i haer sirens. run fast.
Who would have guessed that ordering a vodka lemonade at Roscoe's was code for I want a hand job
i cant wait for all this BS that is happening with Tiger to happen to Tebow
When you wake up, I have rum and am in town
She said she's saving anal for marriage cuz she has to save something for her husband...seriously just caught myself lookin at rings.
i gave him a hand job with one hand and held the 40 with the other. this is like freshman year all over again.
Not sure if jager bombs can cure tuberculosis, but its a theory im testing as we speak
I mean, once you get beat with a dildo you can't look at someone the same
first party of the semester tomorrow. thinking of wearing a huge sign that says "my summer was good" to avoid the 67 questions and get straight to drinking
This guy needs to come out; I can feel him sucking my dick from across the room.
He finger blasted me like an angel dude
I found your missing hash cookies. Fuck you and I'm sorry but there are only 2 left. I already had the munchies.
Hey do you remember me?
You were the giant banana I had sex with... how could i forget?
On the plus side, he ate me out and gave me an orgasm. But he also talked about robots during sex and mispronounced it like the dad in the goldbergs and called them “robits”
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