WIFE SWAP. FAMILY OF MIDGETS. LIFETIME. NOW.
come over
yeah sure
wait who is this again? my contacts got deleted...but tell me and ill be there in 10
ever had your bank call you to verify the 4 seperate bar transactions from the night before? I have
her roommate was in the bathroom for over an hour so i volunteered to take the dog out and i shit in the bushes
so i hit rock bottom, god threw me a shovel. i continued to dig.
you were having sex in the bathroom so i pee'd in your bong water...
Also, hurry up because I don't like drinking alone. I'm still doing it, but I don't like it.
At the start of the night I was all 'come at me universe' and three hours later I was ordering an extra large pizza in bed in the dress I had gone out in. Well played universe.
God fucking bless the man who invented the vibrator. Bless him and all his descendants. I think I saw the face of God tonight
What the hell do I have to give up to manifest a dick
And then I discovered that while drunk last night I called the NAACP and left an angry voicemail demanding they fix the racism at my school
Can we table this discussion? The roommate is out of town and I have to eat pie on the couch in my underwear.
My mom heard me having sex with my boyfriend but thought it was the neighbors. She commented on how quick it was. I just nodded and changed the subject
I don't remember anything beyond the drinking game but I woke up in my own pee this morning so I'm just gonna go out on a limb and say I overdid it.
This town reeks of teen pregnancy.
Randomize
