It was like a drunk episode of Dora the Explorer. In English.
Just walked pass a bum on the way to a coinstar... awkward
you kept typing in answers.com, why are the state police calling my house, expecting an answer
Just desperately used the "it's a boy" cigar I saved from my\nnephews birth to roll a blunt
Any little, cute, petite blondes with you?
Nah, I got some slutty brunettes though.
Eating Doritos is not nearly as enjoyable when I'm not drunkenly feeding them to peacocks.
We're cuddling on the couch that me and his brother had sex on...this feels wrong
I woke up in a place I've never been before, with people I've never met before using me as a table for domino's.
I remember nothing of last night, but I did manage to figure out which frats I went to by the trails of straw across campus.
She's trying to put on her dog muzzle on her self
We're going to work out tomorrow I guess but it usually consists of doing weights for 10 minutes, then saying fuck cardio and going to Taco Tuesday
If there was a bread and water delivery truck id make sweet hungover love with it.
Was just trying to have a normal "I fucked you without a condom" adult conversation and she flipped
This week I fucked a police officer and called both the Senators from the state I'm in and the one I'm moving to. What have you done since the election?
Did you just correct my spelling of a made up word?
No, I just was using your word in plural form
Randomize
