he had more hair on his balls then in my Easter basket
This got awkward about two "Oh yeah"s ago.
the only thing he could say in english were 'insert coin here' and 'game over'. i love spanish men.
"Take a picture of me motorboating molly" was probably not my best career move
yes, we have a friends with benefits thing. i found out he had never 69'd, done anal or had a threesome. i told him i was going to rock his world.
and what did he say?
there were no words. he looked like a kid on christmas morning.
Update: we are pushing the start of day drinking back from 9 am to 10 am. Minor delay.
I ate 12 cupcakes in less than 24 hours, so no judgement here.
Wait does semen show up on blood tests?
I think his roommates are using word magnets to tell me that they can hear us. His fridge currently says, "Chris ate out naughty girl."
And regarding bottomless mimosas stopping at 1 pm, there was a chick who drove her car into the back of the bar. Blame that bitch, not you peeing in the koi pond.
Thought about it. I'm gonna go to work, but I'm gonna tell them I wrestled a bear saying I fell just isn't working.
For future reference, don't put tape on your nipples. Ouch.
All I want is some guy to eat me out while I work on grad school things then go on his way
Had sex outside for the third time last night. Mosquito bites all over my ass, and i think i have a rash on my nipples. When will i learn.
Just wait till winter
This is the difference between me and him; he buys you flowers, I buy you a dildo
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