508, what difference does it make? You were alone, anyway.
While sitting in bed naked eating ramen and watching the colbert report I realize why random sex happens.
Currently standing on top of my parents leather couch with no pants on playing helicoptor with my penis. You?
he told me it was a naked video of him so i opened it. i just got rickrolled while sexting
I dont know why people are racist. Both the mexicans and the irish gave us holidays where everyone drinks on a wednesday.
Bottle rocket just missed my head by about 3 inches. Of course I'm being safe
How did you even find out?
Because you came up to me and said "I just fucked in the bathroom."
Oh.
This will never work out with him unless I somehow learn how to unhinge my jaw like a python.
you know it's a good party when the fucking floor caves in. THE FUCKING FLOOR.
I need to be drunk within 15 minutes of getting home tonight.
I'm so bored I talked to the Bible guys for 30 minutes.
I offered them beer last time they came here bahaha
Also, do you have any insight as to WHY I have a note saved from the 17th of June that reads *clears throat*, "you got that swanky blues libido"
I'm sitting at my kitchen table alone dressed as a dinosaur smoking bowls in the dark. Is this rock bottom? Or is this living the dream? Who's to say
i almost got into an argument defending my life choices with a guinea pig eating chocolate cake at 4am
I woke up to the sound of her peeing at the end of the bed at 4am.
Randomize
