the bitch is dead man
YOUR DOG DIED?
no i meant my mom has passed out .. so i'll be over soon.
There was this creepy guy on the bus. So I puffed out my stomach & began so hold my stomach like I was preggers.
u ever jackoff with ur legs spread and pretend ur fuckin urself as a girl and get mad u'll never know what that feels like. Or to fly like a bird?
Did u absorb a fraternal twin in the womb?
I am not deleting the internet history anymore, now I am going for shock value.
He literally is quoting that 21 questions song, the 50 cent one. oh my god.
Your dad needs a mid life crisis affair thing, I could totally be that girl.
Call me when you wake up. I wanna start drinking but I'm giving up hope on my life if I drink alone before 10 am
The fact that he is from Canada is way more embarrassing than the fact that you met him on match.com
hey dude come in here and see how much of my beard i can put in my mouth!
Just say its a British thing. They wont know Its not. And if they say you're not British, proposition them for a post-sex game of cricket.
I did not appreciate your texts about spanking at 3'o'clock this morning.
I don't know, but I assume drunk me had her reasons. I trust her judgement.
I want to die, ON THAT, with that INSIDE ME. ironically, I sense that would be the only time I'd feel alive.
Serious question: is he hot or is my vagina just that barren?
Man I sound like a slutty Mormon
Randomize
